Taking an hour or so to talk to the men and women in your family is a crucial way to capture the real life story of your family.
To make the interview more interesting, try asking why, how and what, instead of who, where, and when. For example, instead of asking what was the date of your marriage, ask what was your wedding day like. Here are some different questions you can try:
* How did your mother prepare you for the wedding night?
* What were some of your mother’s positive qualities?
* What about negative qualities?
* How did your parent meet?
* What is your fondest memory of your mother or your father?
* As you think of your mother or father, how do you remember them looking?
* How old was she or he then?
* What did you call your mother and father?
* What did others call them?
* Tell me a story about your mother or father that would characterize them or show me what kind of a people they were.
None of these questions can be answered with just a simple “yes” or “no.” These questions prompt the person to consider the answers and will give you information you would not find in any records.
While you will need to start with some basic facts in your ancestors, don’t forget that you’ll probably find all of that information in a record somewhere once you begin research. What you won’t find in the records are your family’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations – the why, how, and what. These are the things that make a person unique and will otherwise be lost when they die.
Always prepare before an interview with questions you’d like to ask, remembering to seek why did this happen, how did you feel about it, and what was it like?
Before commencing, explain to the subject that not all the material will be used in the family history and that they will have an opportunity to see and make changes before the family tree is distributed to other family members. Get approval to use the material if you plan to publish or distribute parts of the interview.
I also try to put my interviewees at ease by explaining that they do not have to answer all the questions. If it’s too personal, just tell me.
Each interview should not last longer than one to two hours. It can get tiring for you and the person being interviewed.
As you are conducting the interview, be sure to listen. Ask a question, then wait and listen to the response. While the urge to interrupt – to clarify a point or ask another question – is great, don’t do it. Make a note of the concern item and come back to it. Do not interrupt or correct the person. Even though you may have documented proof that contradicts a story you are being told, let your relative recite the way they remember the event. You can make a note of the discrepancy. Show interest in what they are saying.
To me, some of the best questions are the personal ones. These can be slightly embarrassing or may make the narrator laugh or cry. These are the questions no one has dared to ask, and the answers to which you won’t find recorded anywhere, except maybe in a diary. Be sensitive, of course, and explain how valuable the personal information is to future family members that may not have the opportunity to know them.
So what do you do with the story after you’re finished? There are many ways you can incorporate the details into your family history. You can include the stories and quotes in your family history book, write parts of it in a narrative style, or use the information while writing captions to photographs.
Take your time and have fun learning more about your family members. All will appreciate the work and effort you have put into preserving your ancestry.
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