In some generations, there comes a time when the role of a segment of society –a race, a gender, etc.– takes a huge leap in a new direction (generally a forward direction). When it comes to women, that sort of change tends to come along once in a generation or so. One of the biggest was during World War II, when the lack of male workers required women to take on a much more prominent role in the workplace. And some believe that the current global recession is this generation’s role-shifting event. For years, more and more women have been the main breadwinners for their family. But with the beginning of the current recession, those numbers have shot up drastically.
But if people from every walk of life are losing their jobs right now, why should there be more women earning their family’s living than ever before? Because not all kinds of people are losing work at an equal rate. According to a recent statistic, about 80% of the people who have lost work since the current recession began at the end of 2007 are men. And while men have always had a higher job-loss rate than women, this recession has hit their gender especially hard, with the highest unemployment gap between men and women we’ve seen in decades. A vast majority of the people who work in construction, manufacturing, and similar fields are men– and these very fields have been the hardest hit and seen the greatest numbers of job losses.
The result? Mom still has her job –and is now the only one in a position to support the family financially–, so it’s Dad who has to stay home.
While more women provide financially for their family than ever before, it’s by no means a new occurrence. In fact, the number of female primary financial providers doubled between 1990 and when the recession began in 2007. So the fact that so many women fill this role isn’t so surprising. What is, however, is the number of men who are now staying home and playing Mr. Mom.
The Impact on Family Dynamics
It doesn’t really matter what kind of family you are: when roles in a family shift, it brings stress to everybody involved. So when the man of the house also becomes the house-husband –especially when he’s spent the last 15 years working away in an office– families have to expect a little difficulty adjusting. When the roles of the financial and domestic provider are reversed, the dynamic within the family is going to change. And while those changes can be great for some families in the long run, for others they can be difficult to accept.
While all men are different, the fact is that most men are hard-wired to think of themselves as the financial provider for their family. When that responsibility is shifted to somebody else, taking on the no-less-important role of domestic provider can be frustrating. And for some, even emasculating.
Unfortunately, this view is true with many women, as well. While it’s of course easier to accept new roles when a “house husband” actually does everything he can to care for the home and the children (rather than sitting playing video games or, worse, surfing internet dating sites all afternoon), sometimes the simple shift in roles can drive a wedge between couples. Women who are now the sole providers for their family may feel resentful of the increased pressure of their position; and men who now exclusively care for their family may feel humbled and disrespected. And none of those feelings are easy to deal with.
Fortunately, they can be dealt with. Sure, our genes and our society have taught us to form certain expectations with regards to couple and family dynamics. But just because the roles in a family have changed doesn’t mean that your family can’t weather those changes– and maybe even come out better for them, in the end. Chances are, your family has been through difficult times in the past. And when those times came around, the things you learned about your family, your priorities, and each other should help you in the future. If you hold onto your family –and don’t lose site of why you’re together in the first place– it’s perfectly possible to adjust to your new roles. And maybe, with time, even embrace them.
This article was written by Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where we always offer free internet dating. Datepad has a massive directory of informative free dating articles along with a great list of dating site reviews on our dating blog.
